Earlier this week the ever resourceful blog Freakonomics ran an interesting blog post rehashing some statistics from a new book titled The Marriage Go-Round by Andrew Cherlin.
[Link]
The crux of the book, according to Freakonmics, is that a child reared in Sweden by unmarried parents has a lower chance of seeing its parents split than a kid reared by married parents in the United States.
Oddly, late last week Real Clear Politics featured an interesting harangue from Froma Harrop bemoaning the (presumably) recent numbers out from sociologists that put the percentage of babies born out of wedlock in the U.S. at 40%. After contemplating the implications of 40% of American babies being born to single mothers, Ms. Harrop muses:
Drudgery seems a strong way to put the matter of singleness. Then again, it is difficult to imagine that the 60% of children in the U.S. who have parents are somehow 'worse-off' than a child born out of wedlock in Sweden. But Live Science reported that the secret of a successful marriage may be having a high 'smile intensity,' so who really knows what the real state of marriage is?
Well, despite the disadvantage of having a less than intense smile, the disadvantage of preferring drudgery to excitement, and the disadvantage of being from America rather than Sweden, yours truly has opted to take the plunge and give married life a shot! The announcement comes admittedly late to these quarters, but while home in Oklahoma over spring break, my now fiancée, Gwyn Hamrick, and I became engaged!
Wedding planning has commenced with a vengeance, and the big day is slated for August 15, 2009 in her hometown of Bloomington, IN. For those interested, you can read her account of our engagement on her blog Life as a Wanderer here.
I mentioned the stories as a prelude because it strikes me as odd how 'interested' we are as a society about the entire notion of coupling. I suppose our interest in sex is obvious enough, but of late the presses and talking heads seem to be acutely interested in relationships and their potential for success.
As noted in the stories, we are interested in whether the US or Sweden has the market on how to start a family; we are curious about whether unmarried women with children are doomed to a life of drudgery; and somone is curious about the effect of one's smile on our long term prospects for marital bliss. (For the record, some 43% of married people report being 'very happy' while only 24% of unmarried people boast as much). I would make a crack about being interested in Salma Hayek's $2 million wedding, but that would be too easy - and it might raise eyebrows from the fiancée.
The bottom line of our fixation with coupling is that no one (viz., not a blessed soul) has the market on how to ensure happiness. Marriage, I suspect, like most of life is all about the trial and error. I have no delusions that ours will be a perfect union, but I am not nearly so dour, and overly pessimistic as the piece from Freakonomics would suggest I should be. And, I am not entirely convinced that it is the mere legal formality of marriage that makes me committed to my future wife as the piece from Ms. Harrop would have us believe. Arguably, the chief legal benefit of marriage is filing joint tax returns. Surely, marriage is about more than its legalities.
My view of love, marriage, and the like, as informed by my faith, is that it is primarily a commitment. Certainly a feeling, but a feeling cemented in a commitment to another person. So, to the extent that marriage solidifies our commitment, I cannot help but hope for good things. What engaged or newly wedded couple would pray for anything less?
I may post a few sporadic updates about our plans, and some of the errant thoughts I have about marriage. Or, if I find something interesting about coupling like the articles above, I may post those as well. But for the most part the conversation will remain business as usual. In the event I deviate from the status quo, here's hoping you patient readers will indulge a soon to be married man a sentimental flourish from time to time as the date draws near.
[Link]
The crux of the book, according to Freakonmics, is that a child reared in Sweden by unmarried parents has a lower chance of seeing its parents split than a kid reared by married parents in the United States.
Oddly, late last week Real Clear Politics featured an interesting harangue from Froma Harrop bemoaning the (presumably) recent numbers out from sociologists that put the percentage of babies born out of wedlock in the U.S. at 40%. After contemplating the implications of 40% of American babies being born to single mothers, Ms. Harrop muses:
I ask a sociological question: Does a marriage intensify one's sense of duty?
"Formality in the law serves some important purposes," Glesner-Fines responded. "It cautions people that what they are getting into is serious."
Yes, that's it. The seriousness of the legal bond between the parents -- as well as from parent to child -- helps foster a partnership in childrearing, even if that bond later dissolves in divorce. Why so many women take on motherhood without such formality in place is a mystery. The sad result is a growing sisterhood of drudgery.
[Link]
Drudgery seems a strong way to put the matter of singleness. Then again, it is difficult to imagine that the 60% of children in the U.S. who have parents are somehow 'worse-off' than a child born out of wedlock in Sweden. But Live Science reported that the secret of a successful marriage may be having a high 'smile intensity,' so who really knows what the real state of marriage is?
Well, despite the disadvantage of having a less than intense smile, the disadvantage of preferring drudgery to excitement, and the disadvantage of being from America rather than Sweden, yours truly has opted to take the plunge and give married life a shot! The announcement comes admittedly late to these quarters, but while home in Oklahoma over spring break, my now fiancée, Gwyn Hamrick, and I became engaged!
Wedding planning has commenced with a vengeance, and the big day is slated for August 15, 2009 in her hometown of Bloomington, IN. For those interested, you can read her account of our engagement on her blog Life as a Wanderer here.
I mentioned the stories as a prelude because it strikes me as odd how 'interested' we are as a society about the entire notion of coupling. I suppose our interest in sex is obvious enough, but of late the presses and talking heads seem to be acutely interested in relationships and their potential for success.
As noted in the stories, we are interested in whether the US or Sweden has the market on how to start a family; we are curious about whether unmarried women with children are doomed to a life of drudgery; and somone is curious about the effect of one's smile on our long term prospects for marital bliss. (For the record, some 43% of married people report being 'very happy' while only 24% of unmarried people boast as much). I would make a crack about being interested in Salma Hayek's $2 million wedding, but that would be too easy - and it might raise eyebrows from the fiancée.
The bottom line of our fixation with coupling is that no one (viz., not a blessed soul) has the market on how to ensure happiness. Marriage, I suspect, like most of life is all about the trial and error. I have no delusions that ours will be a perfect union, but I am not nearly so dour, and overly pessimistic as the piece from Freakonomics would suggest I should be. And, I am not entirely convinced that it is the mere legal formality of marriage that makes me committed to my future wife as the piece from Ms. Harrop would have us believe. Arguably, the chief legal benefit of marriage is filing joint tax returns. Surely, marriage is about more than its legalities.
My view of love, marriage, and the like, as informed by my faith, is that it is primarily a commitment. Certainly a feeling, but a feeling cemented in a commitment to another person. So, to the extent that marriage solidifies our commitment, I cannot help but hope for good things. What engaged or newly wedded couple would pray for anything less?
I may post a few sporadic updates about our plans, and some of the errant thoughts I have about marriage. Or, if I find something interesting about coupling like the articles above, I may post those as well. But for the most part the conversation will remain business as usual. In the event I deviate from the status quo, here's hoping you patient readers will indulge a soon to be married man a sentimental flourish from time to time as the date draws near.
The Conservative Blog Network
6 comments:
aaawwwwwwwwwwww.
I looooooooove you!! ;)
WOOHOO!!! Congratulations, Tory! It took two tries for me to find the right one...and I don't recommend that path. I hope you've gotten it right the first time, and I wish you and your bride-to-be all the best!
Oh, and one MOST important piece of advice that I found out via my own trial-and-error: being lovers is great, being friends is great, but make sure you're both partners, too. That word gets bandied about so much (e.g., "domestic partnerships") but its true meaning and implications are taken for granted, usually in a very selfish what's-in-it-for-me way. As long as you're lovers, friends, AND partners through your life together, you will be truly unstoppable.
Thanks for the well wishes, advice and awww's :)
I think the partnership aspect will be something I really have to keep myself in-check on. I've been on my own for so long, I think it's going to take some transition to get back into a mindset of 'us' rather than 'me'. Maybe that's an argument for getting married younger - so you don't get into that 'me' frame of mind for too long...
Beautiful image.,..,.
___________________
Christena
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