Our host at the marae is a man named Shawn, or "Papa Shawn," as the kids call him. And while he's hardly the garrulous sort, he clearly loves this place - a place that he simply calls home.
Māori in New Zealand often call a particular "marae" such as this, home. For the descendants of Tukorehe, a Māori ancestor from the distant past, this marae is theirs, carrying with it all the trappings of ownership as if they had helped Tukorehe himself hew the logs that support its roof.
By way of explanation, the focal point of the marae grounds is the meeting house, or wharenui, which resembles a small wooden chapel that congregations in the Southern United States might have used over a century ago. However, far from practicing Christianity, Māori consider their meeting houses to be the living iteration of their ancestors. Photos of deceased relatives line the wooden walls of the wharenui, each ancestor looking after the occupants in a very literal and symbolic way. The walls themselves are ornately decorated with wood carvings and flax tapestries that tell both the exploits of the ancestor, as well as the philosophy/theology that undergirds the Māori worldview.
The marae, then, is not so much a chapel as it is a cenotaph dedicated to the presence of the absence of ancestors who never truly left to begin with.
If there's a nugget of wisdom I've gleaned from the complexities of the Māori cosmology (one I will admittedly I never fully understand), it's that they do community rather differently than we do in mainstream America.
I won't say it's better because I'm not sure it is. But it is different, so I'll leave it there. Just different.
The first difference is the Māori emphasis on all things communal. Sleeping in the marae, for example, is a wholly communal affair. The end result is that our group of ten from the University of Wyoming have spent the past three days sleeping in the wharenui, sharing snores, showers, and sleeping patterns alike. This is, of course, a stark contrast to America where privacy is the order of the day, no matter how much the NSA might say otherwise.
The second difference is in the Māori emphasis on social extroversion. Back home, my normal routine involves quiet, reflection, dedicated time for writing, and the occasional game of Call of Duty.
For Māori, nearly every interaction is focused on the shared, lived experience of family or whanau. Families and extended families all come in equal turn on the marae, sharing meals, entertainment, and social activities in common. Needless to say, this American's time for reflection has been almost non-existent, and in all honesty this has taken its toll on my frazzled nerves. It seems I crave quiet in the same way Māori crave togetherness. I suppose both the individual and the collective have their place and needs.
Of course, I knew all of this coming in. The marae was never a mystery to me given the year/plus that Gwyn, Clark and I lived in New Zealand. But perhaps the difference on this trip is the presence of the absence of my own whanau. While the Māori ancestors look after us from behind their frames in the wharenui, my own family is ensconced miles across the mighty Pacific, visiting family back in Indiana.
It seems this is the real lesson from Māoridom. There's precious little that's more important than family. Of course, we all take this to different extremes.